Help.Guidance

These are some of the problems shared by some sisters. I have not used their names to protect their privacy.

Subject: incident
Assalamualaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu
About 2 weeks ago there was a robbery at my home, we were not home at that time. The thief came from the front door with a key, took a safe that had all my jewellery, some cash and all our passports in it. The thief touched nothing else in the house.
When we found out I said, ” INNA LILLAH HEY WA INNA ILAYHEY RAJEYOON”, I wanted to be like Abdul Qadir Jilani (R), but as days passed I started becoming sad, mostly because of people and what they would say, e.g. my husband said “It is Allah’s way of telling everybody that you are a fraud, you try to impress people by how religious you are, and HE took all your jewellery to impress a point of what you are”.
I have not been able to hifz quran for the last 11 days or so, every time something/anything happens I just cannot concentrate. People say to Hifz is easy, Why do I find it so hard? When will things change for me InshAllah.?
I sincerley seek your advice.

Dear Sister

Wa alaikum Assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu

Alhamdulillah Allah has given you the level of faith which enabled you to do sabar at the first blow.  However it is very natural that our level of faith does not remain constant. This is what our test is all about. Everyday we have to face new challanges and so we turn to Allah again and again for His help and guidance. InshaAllah you will find peace of heart by making lots of duas especially in Sajdah, because that’s when we are the closest to Allah. Spend some time daily in which to talk to Allah and share your sorrow. That provides a relief to the soul and builds up your iman and optimism. Search the Quran for verses in which Allah has promised endless reward for the people who suffer difficulties but remain patient. Surely you will realize that this world is soon going to end and in the Hereafter there will be no fear and no sorrow for the sabireen.

May Allah keep you steadfast on His deen and you keep doing the work which pleases Allah. Ameen.

wassalaam

 Subject: Please Guide me

I have done bds ,my age is 29,i have 2 brothers  who are abroad. My father is a retired teacher  while my mother is still  teaching.
I have never seen any understanding between my parents. Always saw them quarrelling and fighting… abusing each other using bad language… their voices could be heard outside the house… all the neighbours and relatives know it.
A year ago I got maried, and 2 and a half months back my husband went to  Africa  for 6 months. He has done  B.tech.
I have always yearned for love and attention but have got married to a person for whom these are just fanciful things which are good only for the movies.
My whole time table is under the control of my mother in law. She can abuse me and call me bad names whenever she wants. Even if she says such things in front of my husband he remains quiet. He even gave my gold jewellery in her custody before going to Africa.
MY husband only does what his mother says to him even if she is wrong. Whenever my husband was sitting with me, my mother in law always called him, so we were not able to spent even a few min. together  .I am not able to go to anywhere  without  her permission, cannot do anything if she doesn’t allow me. My duty is  just cooking  ,wahsing etc .(we live in a joint family .my husband ‘s parents his 4 bro and 2 sis.his  sis r married.and 2 bro r married, one bro. lives in jeddah with his family).
I feel like I am dead from inside. Is this what my life is? I want to live only with my husband but my mother stops me from taking any step. She refused some of my marriage proposals just because the boy’s height was not good enough or he was not very good looking… why did she do this to me? The resentment inside me is making me difficult to be polite to her. The most I can do is to stay quiet or just leave the room because I cannot talk nicely with her.

My confidence has also been lost. I feel like my Rabb is very angry with me that is why all of this is happening to me. I have  read  books and started namaaz  when i was in  school,then started  hijaab in 2002.Then joined  alhuda  and completed  my tafseer course in 2005 and  hadith course.Then joined alhuda as a staff but  left it 1 yr ago.
After marriage I tell my parents about my in-laws so that I can take some decision… is this Gheebah? If yes then whom can I share it with?
Tell me what should i do?  I feel so tired. Please guide me if u believe in ALLAH

Dear Sister… Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullah

All our praise and thanks are for Allah who made us muslims so that we can look towards him for help and get guidance in His own words in the Quran.

First of all we must believe that He created everything with a purpose so whatever problem which we face in life also has a purpose behind it.

This life is a test in which we are being tested with various situations. If anything bad happens to us then it is just a test of our faith and patience. The bigger the test, the greater will be the reward and compensation. Ordinary people go through ordinary problems but the Prophets who were the chosen people of Allah went through extraordinary troubles.

So please keep in mind that Allah loves you and He wants you to reach greater heights of faith and awareness through this painful experience which is just a temporary phase and will eventually be resolved. No winter lasts forever, every night has a day!!

What you need to do is to be very very patient and on your best behaviour no matter if people are being unkind to you. For your emotional fulfillment and happiness you should focus on the Quran and chalk out some program for self education through books and cds etc. Make a detailed planner and work on it with discipline and consistency, in whatever free time you have even its only one hour daily or even less than this.

Make it a point to pray salat-e-hajat daily in which you should ask Allah for patience and guidance. Reading the Quran with contemplation is also a good therapy for relieving stress.

Listen to lectures on the importance of patience and read good books about the prophets and other good people who put up with all sorts of problems yet their faith increased with every calamity.

InshaAllah very soon you will see the positive results within your own heart and consequently in those around you as well. May Allah help you in overcoming the difficult time in your life with faith and hope in Allah’s Mercy…Ameen

 

2 thoughts on “Help.Guidance

  1. Assalaamu’alaikkum sister
    i find this article at this time for my dire need of advice. Alhamdulillah. Facing the health situation and stress really helpful. May Allah Guide me in the Right Path and Bless me with the Patience and Prayer and Reading Quran. It is really hard to focus but Allah’s help will make it to gain that insha-Allah. Wassalaam.

    • Assalamualaikum… I am grateful to Allah that you found this article beneficial. May Allah make your problems easy for you and may you be saved from the pains of both the worlds… ameen

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