It is a well known fact that human beings have been created as imperfect beings and they will always make mistakes and we also get a lot of comfort in the fact that Allah is most forgiving and so if we make any mistake then all we have to do is to feel the guilt and beg for his forgiveness. Make matters right with the person against whom we committed the sin and give some sadaqah to cleanse the soul. But if the Taubah was so sincere why do we keep falling into the same trap again and again. Since we know that the devil uses our weaknesses to lead us towards sins so that means that if we keep returning to the same error then the weakness which enables the shaitan to do his job is very much present in us. So we must analyse ourselves and find out that weakness in order to get rid of it… this is what Tazkiyah or character development is all about.
One common mistake which most of us are guilty of is to lose temper with people and talk to them in a manner which we would never like for our own self. Why do we do it? Even though some of us feel terribly guilty after talking like that but very soon find ourselves repeating the error somehow or the other… why is that?
Some might say that its in our nature and we really don’t think badly about others… but its just in talking to them in anger that we forget all the good articles we have read and the lectures we listen to…
If this excuse is true then why is it that we control our anger and our tone in front of people whom we are afraid of… when we fear that they will insult us if we say anything to them…
Or imagine yourself in front of a person whom you love and admire greatly and want to maintain an excellent relationship… how is it that we get the wisdom and the patience to control our temper and tongue in such situations?
It means that the real thing which leads to good behaviour is love and fear. Now since we do not and cannot love and fear all the people on the same level then our behaviour also keeps fluctuating. But if we can just remember one thing that all the people are the creation of Allah… that even if they cannot take revenge from us due to their specific nature or situation, Allah is watching over them and His revenge is greater than anything we can ever imagine… if we can remain conscious of this we can never degrade others… we can never be rough to others… we can never hurt others… no matter what they do to us, because we will know that their mistakes cannot neutralize our sins.
One way to do this is to keep repeating this in our talks that Allah has created this person and he knows what he or she is doing and he is enough to do justice. This thought will make us free from the urge to talk back… or to punish… or to make them realize how bad they are!!
The other thing is to cultivate a forgiving attitude. Stop the habit of thinking and talking negatively about people. If they appear as incompetent or foolish or deceptive or whatever… then maybe it is a trial for me through which Allah is testing my Taqwa? He is testing me whether I make the same concessions for them which I want for my own weaknesses?
Because today once again I realized that our Taqwa is best revealed in our attitude towards people who are weak and helpless…
Its interesting to note that we are sometimes very polite with poor and needy people and we think we have achieved Taqwa… but the real taqwa is when we can “maintain” that politeness with our servants… our children… with whom we live and are tested with their irritations or negative reactions.
No matter how much they spoil things or spoil our mood but we just don’t have the right to INSULT them or anyone else. We take it lightly because it has become such a common thing but still in Allah’s eyes it is a great sin. The honour of a person is as sacred as his life and his property. We think Zulm as killing or robbing people… but it is an equal zulm to kill the spirit of a person with our negative criticism and angry words.