Salat-ut-taubah

When kids are making a mess or doing something which they shouldn’t be doing, it is quite an educational experience to see how their mothers respond to these situations…  

There are some who appear not to even notice what their child is up to… and so they remain busy in whatever they are doing… blissfully unaware and oblivious!!

Then there are those who think that it is alright if their child is spoiling other people’s things… or making too much noise or misbehaving and being rowdy with other kids… they appear to be blind to the concept of discipline and if anybody else happens to point it out to them, they will always have the same response: what’s wrong with it? After all they are just children!!

As a reaction to this complacent attitude, there are some women who make it a point to let everybody know that they are very serious about their children’s manners… and so they make a lot of noise trying to stop their children from doing anything wrong… they will keep on doing their thing, whether they are watching TV or chatting on the phone or whatever… and from a distance they will keep yelling at their kids from time to time… “stop it”… “don’t do it”… “leave that thing”… and so on…

But the strange thing is that the child will act totally deaf… and will not stop… why? Because words without action are just sounds in the air… a sound which can have no impact on the listener… even though the mom thinks she has done her duty by issuing warnings to her child but the reality is that every time this happens the child learns that he can get away with what he does… and so you hear mothers complaining that my children don’t listen to me… even though I teach them so much…

And this happens not just with mothers and their kids, but also with all those people who want to correct themselves and think that they can wipe out their bad habits and replace them with good ones just by telling themselves…

And so they make a lot of noise when they do something wrong… why have I done this? Why am I so bad? I will never do it again… I didn’t mean to do it… etc etc

And then they start analyzing and blaming others when they try to prove that their bad habits are due to their parents, their environment, lack of education etc etc…

But this lamenting and blaming doesn’t make them better… when the storm passes away, the same routine and the same mistakes starts happening over and over again… because their inner self… gets the same message that these are just words… without any consequence… without any substance…

So if you really want to train and discipline your own self or your child or student… you need to learn how to do it… you need to first calm down and lower your volume… then you go over to the child, hold his hand, look in his eyes and say things with your whole heart… choosing words that will go down in his heart… and the child will know that you are not saying just to create a noise… rather you mean it…

If it is your own self which needs to be trained then you need to convey your intentions to yourself in clear words… tell yourself what you need to do and what you need to stop… and if you make a mistake then follow up with taubah… not just with words but take action too… like the Prophet (s.a.w) taught us that when someone commits a sin then he should make wudu and pray two nafl… then ask for forgiveness…

This simple act is missing from our lives… that is why we see that even being religious and counting hundreds of tasbeehs of istighfar is not making us into better human beings… Because words need to be from the heart… and what is in the heart will necessarily be translated into action…

If you are true in your guilt then your body will yearn to bow down in humbleness in front of Allah… and if you truly want to get forgiveness then you will do anything to make Allah happy with you again…

So whoever seeks to attain righteousness then surely the salat-ut-taubah (the prayer of forgiveness) is a gift which needs to be recognized as our biggest way out of problems… because even though we might think of people as our biggest problem, or our financial situations, or the society, or our circumstances… but the fact is, that the biggest problem which we rarely admit, is our own sins… our own lack of wisdom…

May Allah help us to see our mistakes and give us the wisdom to correct ourselves in an effective manner… Ameen

 

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