The last couple of articles I posted were about backbiting or gheebat… and even after I wrote in length about how to get rid of this habit; this question kept coming back to me again and again and I felt like there was much more to be done about it than what I had initially shared… so this post of mine is a sort of extension!!
Well the first thing you need to do is to make a firm intention not to indulge in this activity again and for this you should do taubah to Allah for all the backbiting you have done so far and seek his help for the future so that he might save you from falling in the same errors again.
Taubah is like repairing your relationship with Allah… because sins create a barrier between you and Allah and to do taubah is just like coming out of the heat and smoke of bad deeds and returning back to the cool and comfortable shade of Allah’s love and mercy… the more sincere and heartfelt taubah you do the more you will feel like you now have a whole new life ahead of you in which you can do all those wonderful good deeds which Allah loves…!!
But to feel this happiness and satisfaction you first need to know the reality of where you were before taubah and where you have come after it… So write down all the horrors of backbiting like for example how disgusting is to even imagine eating the flesh of a dead brother… so this is how bad we appear to Allah when we are talking about someone in a negative way…
Then imagine that how many times you want to convince people especially your family members that they should come to the way of Allah but they refuse to even listen to you… or they misunderstand you or they don’t trust you even though you are hundred percent sincere and truthful… have you ever thought that this might be due to the backbiting? As I once heard from a scholar that Allah will not put barakah in the speech of a person who uses it for Allah’s displeasure like taunting or backbiting…
Thirdly imagine how your precious good deeds get transferred to the same person whom you don’t like when you are talking against him. It is a famous tale where one person sent a gift of thanks to his enemy when he was told that his enemy was spreading bad words about him… people asked him why instead of taking revenge he was sending gifts… he explained that since his enemy was actually transferring his good deeds into his account by backbiting against him so he must thank him with some gift!!
And then you should also consider the fact that often you must have planned for doing something good for Allah like fasting every month… or praying tahajjud or maybe volunteering in some Islamic institution etc and even though you really wanted to do it but you couldn’t do so… have you ever thought that backbiting might be the hurdle in your way of moving ahead in the way of Allah? And because of this idle gossiping you might have been deprived of Allah’s help and taufeeq?
Last but not the least… one other drawback of gossiping is that the more you point out people’s flaws the more your own self esteem goes down and you start fearing people that they must also be talking badly about you… you lose trust in yourself and also in other people’s sincerity… what a loss!!
Think about it and you might come up with even more disadvantages… now pile them up altogether and ask Allah to clean all of this junk from your life by doing sincere taubah… because only Allah can help us to leave our bad habits and Allah helps those who sincerely repent to him.
May Allah give us the taufeeq to do so… Ameen