My Hajj Journal- (part-16)

It took me a few seconds to gradually pull myself together and get up… people were gathered around me… shocked and concerned… “What happened to you? Are you alright?” My mother was giving me water to drink and a friend was taking off my bag from my shoulder… but the most unexpected gesture was from a complete stranger…holding out his palm with some sugar in it…

The good news was that I could still walk although I felt hurt and bruised all over… but what hurt the most was a feeling of shame and guilt… was Allah angry with me? Had I displeased him in some way? But then I thought that we put so much emphasis on what happens to us in this world. If something good comes to us we feel that Allah is happy with us and vice versa… Whereas isn’t it true that everything that happens to us in this life is just a test or a reminder? So maybe Allah was reminding me of the Akhirah and preventing me from being careless. Because it is quite possible that after doing some great acts of worship like Hajj, a person gets this idea of being Allah’s beloved and thus loses all virtue due to arrogance.

And so I understood why our pious predecessors used to thank Allah even when they faced calamities… because they believed in Allah’s mercy and wisdom. And their goal was not the comfort of this world but to get an outstanding result in the hereafter.

Therefore this incident will always serve as a great reminder for me that if one little “fall” can be so humiliating and painful, both physically and emotionally then what will be the pain of falling from Allah’s grace on the day of recompense? We read the verses of people being thrown into the hellfire, and we casually pass them by, without even thinking… “What if it is me?” And even if it is not me, even then, is it human to be so unaffected by the falling of other people? If I am not concerned about it then I must worry about my heart because surely if it feels then it must feel something…

(To be continued)

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