My Hajj journal

(Continued from the previous article)

I woke up in the middle of the night at the sound of a most beautiful Azaan which seemed like coming from just outside my window. I realized that it was the call for Tahajjud… and my heart seemed to jump with joy, just to think that I was going to see Kaaba for the very first time in my life. I just couldn’t bear to be separated from it anymore… so despite the fact that the headache and nausea of the previous night was still hurting me, I got ready to go…

The walk to the masjid was hardly 5 minutes but it seemed like a long journey because of my urge to reach there at once! The street was full of people rushing forward… like a river of human bodies flowing in the same direction… I was scared yet thrilled to be a part of that great big family… brothers and sisters followers of the same faith…

so my third lesson of Hajj was of Islamic brotherhood… it was awesome to think that I was not just a mother of three children or the sister of two siblings… rather I was a part of this universal family which transcends geographical or cultural boundaries…

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When we entered the masjid I felt so confused because I had expected that the moment I will step inside I will see the Kaaba but all I could see were pillars and yet more people all around. There was a section of women nearby so I went and sat with them because the Azaan of Fajr had started by that time… Although I was a bit disappointed for not having seen the Kaaba yet, but my heart lifted at the thought of praying my first ever Salat in this great masjid. But as soon as the prayer ended, I felt a wave of nausea rising in my throat and I realized that in my hurry I had forgot to bring along my bag. I asked the woman next to me if she had any plastic bag but she had none. So I thought with horror… “Is this going to be my first memory of masjid-ul-haram that I am going to throw up on the floor?” And so with all my heart and soul I begged Allah to save me from that helplessness… and Alhamdulillah I got an immediate answer to my prayer… the nausea disappeared like magic and I learned my fourth lesson of Hajj: prayers become powerful when we feel truly powerless before Allah.

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Feeling immensely grateful and relieved, I joined my husband and we started walking… step by step I followed him; my eyes glued to the front, looking out for that first glimpse of the Kaaba. And there it was at last… so beautiful, so attractive, so dignified and majestic… like a most magnificent jewel placed in the middle of an ocean of people circulating around it in complete adoration. As my eyes absorbed this mesmerising sight, my heart made its most passionate dua…

In the very first moment I had this great tide of awareness washing all through my heart and soul that if the house of Allah can mean so much to us… then how beautiful must be Allah…!!! If my heart is moved to such an extent on seeing a building then what will be the state of my heart when I will see Allah in the hereafter?

And so I learned another lesson of Hajj that Allah has kept Himself hidden from us but shown us His marvellous signs so that we might love Him. That is why Allah made Kaaba so special, that is why people love Kaaba so much… no wonder they yearn to see it… they return to it again and again if they can… because it is like a magnet towards which the heart pulls with a great passion… But the real and ultimate objective of our heart is the love and adoration of Allah.

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(More to follow soon InshaAllah)

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4 thoughts on “My Hajj journal

  1. Dear Seekerspath,

    Really good to read your hajj journey, may allah send you on many more hajjs!

    Do you know any prayers for marriage? I am getting scary proposals where people want my greencard an such and want pics in jeans and other revealing clothing…please tell me of a dua…

    • Dear Nida,
      Assalamualikum
      may Allah save you from all harmful people and their traps. You should pray two nafl and then ask Allah to give you a good and sincere life companion with whom you will be most suited to walk on the path of Allah’s obedience inshaAllah. Do this whenever you feel scared or helpless and inshaAllah you will feel great trust in Allah and eventually Allah will join you will good people… with His mercy inshaAllah.
      Lots of duas from me…
      wassalam

      • Thank you so much. Ameen to your dua’s.

        I feel that life is filled with trial after trial. Almost to the point that it becomes unbearable and I feel my brain overloading with goals that I want to complete. Witnessing domestic violence as a child, where every moment was spent in agony to see if my mother was going to live through the morning or not.

        I’m trying to prepare myself of worst eventuality that I might never get a husband but even deep down, I have a desire to live a complete muslim life with a spouse to share ideas with.

        Again, thanks for your duas, may allah grant you jannat al firdous.

      • Dear Nida, I feel like giving you a big loving hug for bravely facing such trials and still retaining your sanity!! Indeed it is Allah’s great favour on you. It is my firm belief that when Allah puts us through unbearable pains then He also blesses us with unimaginable rewards… provided we remain patient and obedient to Him. Remember the Hadith which states that a believer will be compensated or rewarded for even the prick of a thorn. The fact is that Allah does not give us any test without a purpose. And you will see that each test that we go through makes us strong and mature and wise… far more than ordinary people going through ordinary lives. And in the hereafter when the believers will see the treasures of paradise they will forget all their pains and agonies as if they had never tasted any at all… so what is the life of a couple of days as comapared to the enjoyment and pleasure of a never ending life. Therefore the wise person remains firmly obedient to Allah and seeks His closeness through Quran and Salat and Tasbeeh. This is the true pleasure of this life to love and to be loved by Allah:)
        Lots of love and duas
        wassalam

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