The story of my Hajj…

The story of my Hajj begins from the time when I began reading the Quran with translation for the first time. I was strongly inspired by the story of Prophet Ibrahim (A.S.) and was amazed to know about all his sacrifices for Allah due to which Allah gave him the honour of being his “friend”… I began to dream of going to Hajj… to see and live and breathe in the same city in which Ibrahim (A.S.) built the Ka’ba and the same place in which Allah sent His revelations to our Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) but no matter how much I prayed or planned, the trip to Makkah and Madinah remained just a dream for many years.

Then In March 2010 we were eagerly looking forward to my husband’s promotion. Our relatives and friends were so excited about it that we were getting phone calls and messages of congrats even before the event… everybody was that sure!

But in my heart I kept making just one dua to Allah…

Please Allah do whatever will raise us in faith… whatever will bring us nearer to you. I don’t know anything but You know everything so please do what is better for us and let us remain grateful and patient for whatever comes in our way

But even though I had complete faith in the fairness of Allah’s decisions, it was still a big shock when we came to know that my husband couldn’t make it to the next rank… He is such a brilliant officer and has a spotless career record… so what went wrong… everybody was in a shock and had the same question to ask… why not??

But the only person who took it most positively was the same one who was the most affected… my dear husband! He came home in good spirits and offered prayers of gratitude… gratitude for all the blessings of Allah especially for saving our son Adil on that dreadful day of 4th Dec 2009 when he was injured among many other in a massive terrorist attack on our masjid in Parade lane. This one thought made us truly humble before Allah… could we bear it if the two decisions were reversed? So all thanks to Allah…

And the next morning I got my wonderful surprise when my husband announced: “we are going for Hajj this year InshaAllah” I could hardly control my tears as I realized the power of duas… I had asked Allah to bring us near Him and He had accepted itJ

Thus began my journey eight months before Hajj… because whatever I was thinking or doing, a part of my heart would be constantly planning or dreaming of that ultimate glorious event which I thought will make me a true believer after all… Because I realized that it wasn’t going to be just a journey in the physical sense; rather my soul and heart were going to travel from one life to another completely different world…

And all through this time two loves kept pulling me apart… Love of Allah making me so happy at the expectation of “meeting” Him in Kaaba; And love of my children, piercing my heart like nothing I had experienced before… the mere thought of separation hurt me so much… it seemed impossible to leave them. But I couldn’t take them along so I realized that Allah was teaching me that every precious thing has a price and if we want to have something then we have to give up something too… even if it is painful to do so… Thus the first lesson of Hajj for me was the lesson of sacrifice!

In this world every period comes to an end however long it might appear. Thus our seemingly endless waiting period was over and the day arrived when my heart whispered to me: tonight I am going for Hajj… after all…

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We left home a little before midnight. It was a heartbreaking experience to step out of the house at that hour. It was like I was leaving my life behind me not knowing whether I will come back to it again or not. The duas of travelling are a big gift. They let you face reality as it is and yet make you hopeful and optimistic. So when I said the words:

Allahumma antas-sahibu fis-safar wal-khalifatu fil maali wal ahl…

(O my Allah you are my companion in my journey and you are the protector of my property and my family)

I felt like some unseen hand was putting a soothing balm on my heart. Instantly I felt cheerful and it seemed like there was nothing to worry about except for the acceptance of our Hajj. I began to look forward to all that I will see and experience but mostly I wanted to feel the pure faith, the pure love and consciousness of Allah which I had always yearned for…

The flight to Jeddah was comfortable and the best thing was the awesome experience of seeing dawn stripping apart the curtain of darkness. My eyes were glued to this miracle and my heart wondered: does this happen every day? Or is this an extraordinary way of Allah to tell us that a new dawn had come in our lives… which will tear apart the curtain of unawareness?

We reached Jeddah in the bright shining new day, but had to wait several hours before we could move on towards Makkah. By that time I was quite exhausted from lack of sleep and the heat of the desert was also making me very drowsy. Therefore I couldn’t enjoy the drive as I had imagined; rather drifted off to sleep every now and then and would be reawakened by noises and jerks! This went on throughout the drive and so by the time we reached Makkah I had developed a mighty migraine…

Thus I was not able to perform Umrah that night. Feeling immensely sad and disappointed for not being able to accompany everybody to the masjid, I just managed to offer my prayers in my hotel room and fell on the bed… Thus my second lesson of Hajj was patience and endurance. We expect things to happen in a certain way because of our limited knowledge and vision, but we forget that Allah gives us things in a much better way, due to His limitless knowledge and vision. So we must have faith in him in order to protect our hearts from being impatient and ungrateful.

(more to follow soon inshaAllah)

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2 thoughts on “The story of my Hajj…

  1. assalamualikum,

    thank you so much for sharing such precious moments of your life,indeed this article is a great source of guidance for all HUJJAJ KARAM, today i want to assure you that i have learned many things from your articles and also practiced them in my life and feel a great difference and i pray that “May ALLAH give me the power nd strength to follow the right way always.
    At the end i have a request that plz remember me in your prayers also, as you have remembered in the past.

    ALLAH NIGAHBAN.

  2. Al’hamdu-lillaah, the story of your ‘Hajj journey got started at last !! It is really heart warming and faith instilling stories whenever I hear about it from those who had gone for ‘Hajj. May Allaah [swt] give you enough time to post the remaining details ASAP [Aameen].

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