Desires can be fatal

I never knew there was anything called the celiac disease until I was diagnosed with it about nine years ago. Apparently the same wheat which I had been having as a staple food all my life, had suddenly become an enemy for my intestines and even a little amount was enough to trigger an allergic reaction, destroying the surface of the intestines in such a way that no food nutrients could be absorbed in the blood. The only solution was to avoid wheat for the rest of my life. It seemed an impossible thing in the beginning but gradually I learned to be content and grateful that I could still eat so many things which did not contain wheat. In fact after the initial period of adjustment I began to love the feeling that Allah had chosen me for this test and so I became more and more attached to Him when I realized that through this experience Allah was teaching me to become grateful and to ponder on His numerous blessings that previously I was taking for granted.

It went well for a while but then nothing in life remains constant on its own. To be consistent in our efforts we need to have a lot of discipline and self control. I was lacking in both these qualities so I could not stop myself when I would be visiting other people and was offered snacks containing wheat. When I tried to resist and explained the disease, I was told not be too strict with myself and a little pleasure could not be so harmful…. And so I would accept the treat and later on feel guilty. But then after a few days when I would see an irresistible chocolate cake lying in the fridge, I would fall in the traps of my desire again… The strange thing was that I would never get any side effects, any pain or symptoms… and so I felt that maybe it was ok to have a little break now and then.

Anyway it went on for so many years but recently I noticed that the pain in my back and knees was getting worse. I tried home remedies but the weakness and lethargy which had been my companions for a long time, were also getting intense. This led me to believe that I had to get myself examined by a doctor. And so I went to the hospital a couple of days ago hoping to get some multivitamins or calcium supplement. But the doctor instead of looking at my knees or back, simply asked me one question: “have you been taking wheat?” I told him the truth to which he exclaimed “how could you do this to yourself?” Didn’t you know that even a little amount is enough to destroy you?” I was shocked… and felt like someone had awakened me from a long slumber… Feeling like a fool, I offered my excuse: “but I was not having any symptoms so I thought it would be ok…” He looked at me with anger mixed with pity: “but didn’t anyone tell you that it might be working inside you without having any outward effect? Don’t you know the accumulated effect of wheat can cause cancer in your intestines?”

So what could be done now? except to evaluate the damage done so far and to get some treatment for it, which might or might not work… I began to feel a deep regret to realize that I had wasted all the opportunities of good health and energy only for the sake of a little pleasure… But then my thoughts turned to the hereafter and I realized with absolute clarity how we fool ourselves, when we do “little” sins and we think that it is ok… We continue with our bad habits for years and years because apparently we don’t see any “symptom” of their destruction. But it doesn’t mean that the soul is not being affected. This is the real test that we should believe Allah if He tells us that such and such thing is harmful for us even if we are not facing any immediate consequences.

The regret of this world is only temporary and the good and bad of this life will end one day… but what will we do in the hereafter if we don’t save ourselves from the regret of that day. We have to understand that we all have to suffer one pain or the other… either the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.

May Allah open our eyes now, when we still have time to make a fresh start… ameen


18 thoughts on “Desires can be fatal

  1. Assalam’o Aliailkum.

    Salutations does not create familiarity until a person gets formally introduced. i am a student of chartered accountancy and share the same with Waseem who referred me to you article “Desires Can Be Fatal”
    i was really sorry to hear about the sufferings you have been striving with regarding your disease. I started your article with a stimulus of ‘get to know’ but sooner i had to reassemble my conceptions as i was moving towards end. The way you described the very essence of irresistible desires is a deed of its own kind. I must say that you have got a real talent to attach words with your feelings. May you excel in your skills and health. (aamin)

    “We all have to suffer one pain or the other, either the pain of discipline or the pain of regret”, left me with a remarkable influence on my way of treating many aspects of my life. Feeling indebted with gratitude.


    • JazakAllah khairan for your kind words and duas. In fact I was quite reluctant to share my feelings because they were quite personal, but then I thought that it would be a beneficial reminder for all those who suffer from any similar disease and even those who are physically fit are hardly free from the disease of taking our sins lightly… May Allah keep us steadfast on the right track and save us from His anger and punishment.

      • your words have a great impact..
        May Allah Subhan’wa Tala listen to all our prayers. (aamin)

        your knowledge is also appreciate-able. please guide me about the words we should adopt while praying to Allah at any ‘Mazaar’ .
        Would be great full.


      • Dear Child, Let me make it very clear that I am just a beginner and I don’t know a lot about things. But I do know one thing for sure that we don’t have to “go” anywhere to pray to Allah; (except of course to the masjid for the five daily prayers). Because Allah listens to our duas whenever we call him. As far as mazaars are concerned we should be very clear in our intentions as to what is our purpose of going there? If we go to graveyards as a remembrance of death and the hereafter then it is good but the other ideas we have invented about mazars are quite dangerous and lead us to shirk… May Allah protect us all. Remember that Allah is directly in touch with each and every one of his creatures. So keep asking him for guidance to the truth.
        Hope that answers your question…

  2. assalamalaikum, very good article and very true. may Allah(swt) restore back u to good health and may u make the best use to this health than before.

  3. Assalamualaikum,

    First of all lots of duas for your health. Today i am very happy that
    my friends are taking a keen interest in your artilcles especially Arish , nd the most important thing is that we are trying to take the pain of discipline in order to get rid from the pain of regret , though shetan always put hurdles in our path but i think that the pain of discipline is much better than later one.
    This article is really helpful for those who do just little sins just for the sake of pleasure.
    Thank you so much for your deep concerns.
    May Allah always bless you nd your whole family nd all the whole muslim ummah.


    • Wa Alaikum Assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu…
      Dear Waseem, I am so pleased to know that Allah has made your heart so receptive to the truth of His religion. May Allah give you lots and lots of ajar for guiding your friends too:)
      My sincerest duas for you, your friends and family… May Allah always keep you on the right track!!
      Just remember that if you do a little sin, the pleasure is soon gone while the sin remains like a black spot on your heart. On the other hand if you go through some pain to do an act of goodness, the pain soon fades away, while the goodness will always fill your heart and soul with pleasure and satisfaction…

  4. Assalam-o-Alaikum

    Jazakallah for sharing your experience.It must have been really hard for you.But Allah has given you alot of strength that you have shared your personal experience with us,so we may benefit from it.

    May Allah shower his countless blessings on you.

  5. Assalamalikaum, it was indeed a great pleasure to have been blessed with the chance of reading your views on ” Desires can be fatal”. It is so soothing to know some one who has been blessed with the knowledge of putting feelings and thoughts to words. Your article was very moving and touching, how beautifully created were the similies, it made understanding life and all what we do in our daily lives the consequences of it. May Allah keep you writing so beautifully and bestow upon us hidayah so that our lives are more meaningful and work towards our ultimate end. Ameen Sum Ameen

    • JazakAllah khairan for your duas and your encouragement. Everything good that we are able to do is from the mercy of Allah and all mistakes are due to our own shortcomings. I am so grateful to Allah that He enables me to convey His message to His people. And that message is to open our eyes to the fact that we were not sent in this world to lead a self centered life. Rather He gave us the title of “the best nation” because we were appointed to be His representatives on this earth. To be obedient servants of Allah and to call others to the same way of peace and success… the way that leads to Allah’s ultimate mercy… which is the Jannat…
      The problem is that we have ourselves lost the way due to being disconnected from our Book of guidance… the book which was supposed to be our road map, our guide, our compass… is lying on our shelves… untouched, un-read… even those who read it hardly know what they are reciting… how are then we supposed to follow its wisdom? and how will we connect others to it? The answer, the solution is to start a journey of understanding the Quran. Even if we are very busy we can still spare a few minutes daily, in listening to some lesson of the Quran in which its meaning is explained. Only then we will truly recognize the purpose of our existence. Only then will our hearts find the peace which we yearn for… May allah guide us all… ameen

      • JazakAllah khairan, JazakAllah khairan, JazakAllah khairan, I hope and pray that I am also as blessed as you, to read and most of all UNDERSTAND the Quran. Ameen. It is also Allah’s blessing that on the path of life we are connected with people who Matter…

  6. I truly wish all of us could have your spiritual vision, your deep insight into your own soul, and your profound understanding of your personal conflicts.Pray for me my friend. God bless

    • Assalamualaikum dear Mehr, I am greatly touched by your comment but really all praise and all thanks is to Allah because He is the real source of all goodness. In fact the more sense or vision we have the more we become answerable for doing something useful with that vision and insight. Like I said in another article, we will not get any reward for the gifts that we have, but it will be seen how we used those gifts… May Allah help me to do the best:)

  7. Assalamualaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatu,
    At first I thought I should write that I’m sorry to hear what you have gone through. But then I remembered Allah Aza Wa Jal being 70x more Merciful than a mother to her child. So dearest aunti, I’m going to say that if being cured is Most pleasing to your MASTER than may He SWT cure you. But if remaining in these conditions is MOST pleasing to HIM SWT then may He SWT grant you patience and perseverance and raise you levels in Jannat and close to Ar-Rahman! : )
    In Al Firdaws Al Ahla! : )

    وَاللَّـهُ يُحِبُّ الصَّابِرِينَ
    “…Indeed Allah loves the patient ones.” (Quran Surah Al-e-Imran 3:146)

    إِنَّمَا يُوَفَّى الصَّابِرُونَ أَجْرَهُم بِغَيْرِ حِسَابٍ
    “…Indeed, the patient ones will be given their reward without account.” (Quran Surah Az Zumar 39:10)

    May He SWT pardon your sins and have mercy on you and choose you to be among the company of the Prophets, the Righteous, the truthful and the Martyrs. Allahumma Ameen! Allahumma Aameen Allahumma Ameen!

    • jazakAllah khairan for all your duas but really my idea for sharing this post was not to focus your attention on my illness but on the fact that the spiritual illness which we all are collecting on our souls is far more deserving of our concern than we give it…

      • Absolutely agree with you on this! If we start protecting our souls from diseases, the way we protect our bodies, I think we would prosper in both worlds even if our bodies are sick. And we can still take the best of both worlds by the mercy of Allah Aza Wa Jal.

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