Am I a good friend?
My search for the truth had begun in me since a very young age but I remained confused between one thing or the other until I got my first taste of the meanings of Quran. As I began the study of my religion, I learned about a Hadith of the Prophet (s.a.w) that the Quran will light up the grave of a person who had a strong bond with it. To such a person the Quran will come in the grave in the form of a beautiful friend and will remain with him till the day of resurrection.
I was delighted to get this good news because among my fears, there are two things I fear the most, one is darkness and the other is to be buried in a grave. And I used to think that there is no option for us but to face the horrors of this dark suffocating place. This Hadith gave me the light of hope that if I make Quran my friend then I will be saved from this torture of being alone and cramped in a dark closet. Thus began my passionate relationship with Quran. I loved its recitation. So I would listen to a lot of different Qari’s. I would put in maximum effort in memorizing the translation. I used to love to listen to and write the tafseer so much that I would wish I had nothing else to do in my life except this one activity which made me feel like I had entered a whole new world. And the feeling that Quran is my best friend and I love it so passionately filled my heart and my life and I thought I was safe from the tortures of the grave and I was safe from the fire…
We are so ignorant but it is Allah’s mercy that He gives us guidance. A couple of days ago I was attending a class in which the scholar was teaching about the events which will unfold in the grave according to the character of the person. After the class I came up to give my comment and for the first time I said these words aloud that for the past 5 yrs all my efforts with the Quran were for the same purpose that Allah might be so happy with me that He will save me from any horrible experience of the grave. And I told the class that this is the reason why I love Quran so much because I love it like a friend.
These words kept echoing in my heart even after the class and I thought to myself that what is bothering me? I haven’t said anything wrong so why are the words coming back to me again and again? After sometime I realized that although it was a very good and noble thought to make Quran my friend, but what is my attitude towards this friend? What is the most important thing that I should do towards my best friend? Is it enough to just admire it? Is it enough to just enjoy its words?
BUT what if I do not act according to teachings? What if I don’t improve my character according to it? What If I cannot sacrifice my own desires for its sake?
Will my friend want to be my friend?