True Love

A friend of mine sent me a picture of the inside view of Ka’ba and it made me think that why don’t I feel the love for Ka’ba as people express. Maybe because I have not been there yet? She sent me back the reply that it is from the signs of Allah and that is why we love it. But again it made me feel so bad that why don’t I have the same feeling? I got very depressed and a lot of questions started revolving in my mind… Is this love natural for a believer? Does it come by itself? Or is it the result of some special deeds or worship?

After a few days of searching my heart for the true answer I wrote the following article:

Love needs exposure and recognition… and also the discovery of the inner connection which Allah has already given us but years of ignorance has accumulated lots of rust on the heart. Wrong ideas and misguided ideals… distorted representation of the good things…

Today I was thinking that we tend to solve issues by actions. Get involved in some work and you will forget how lonely you feel. Do something positive and you will forget how negativity has settled into your heart. These solutions are so temporary. The moment you miss a dose of the tranquiliser, the sleeplessness and the restlessness is back with even greater force because of being suppressed instead of being “cured”. So this time I let myself ride the wave of depression, however painful it was and had resolved in my heart to find a cure, not just diversions…

Well today I realized that even after so many days of self questioning I was not reaching any clue. Then suddenly it hit me that maybe it is enough that Allah knows whatever is wrong with me and I can only pray for forgiveness. My memories went back to 10 yrs ago when I was in Lahore in 1998-99 almost thirty years old and in the grip of severe depression and total sleeplessness. Well, I was talking to my father and was as usual trying to appear very happy and normal. I just casually remarked that one of my friends has a problem and cannot sleep. Always wants to cry and doesn’t understand what is wrong with her. My father said “Tell her to ask Allah’s forgiveness… make a lot of Istighfaar”

I was confused and irritated at this response… “Why should she do Istighfaar when she has not committed any sin?” and then my father said “Just give it a try and you will begin to feel better” I remember that I started saying the words like a medicine and slowly they appeared to have meaning and then feeling and then led me to awareness.

So I realized that I am still standing on the same point and maybe I need the same medicine and so today I continued with my work and kept alternating between Istighfaar and durood…

Allah gave me an immediate relief in the form of a book… (like it has been recorded in a Hadith of the Prophet (s.a.w) that if someone constantly seeks forgiveness then Allah will make ease for him in every difficulty and He will provide sustenance from such a source, as he had not even thought of) This was a book about the life of the Prophet (s.a.w) which I had recently bought… Paighambar-e-inqilab (The Prophet of Revolution) by Maulana Waheed-ud-din…

it was lying on my bedside table since that day and I had just read the first couple of pages but they hadn’t gripped me enough that I would continue but I had promised myself to read it cover to cover so I started once again this evening…

For more than an hour I kept sitting in the same spot and same posture… absorbing the beautiful image of the character of Our Prophet (s.a.w). It was as if for the very first time someone was informing me that such a perfect person had existed on this earth…. So now I know the sweetness of following such an example. Now I understand the absolute necessity for knowing this extraordinary Prophet (s.a.w) and for following in his footsteps. As I read page after page I was filled with this intense longing to go there and be with him and to do what he would tell me to do and to follow him even if he remained silent… just ittiba’ (following the footsteps)… nothing more… nothing less

This is love

This is submission for the Great Allah

And in it lies the peace of heart

How could I even think that I would be able to attain Allah’s love without loving the Prophet (s.a.w)? How very foolish I am but How Great is Allah who let me know of my mistake…


4 thoughts on “True Love

    it was same my problem..i had no special feelings for Kaaba like u…
    but now my mind is clear…u said very well how can v love ALLAH JEE if v dont love Muhammad(S.A.W) foolish v are…but how kind HE is….but i wanna ask one question i always feel that ALLAH JEE z angry wd me…so far from me..dont love me…im looser…i’ll b looser always…im reading quran wd tarjuma but i think im getting nothing….ALLAH JEE says that cum to me i will run to u but i m feeling that as go closer to Him he goes at more distance…plz help me out if u can…

  2. Dear sister Rabia,
    You are not alone. Allah is with you that is why you get the taufeeq of reading the Quran with tarjuma. He loves you that is how you are able to realize that there is something wrong. What I would suggest to you is that you should seek the company of righteous people. Attend some quran class on a regular basis and also read my Surah reviews on the Quran Page. You will realize that Quran tells you how Allah wants us to live our life. Try and act on it. Step by step. Analyze the things in your life which might be against the pleasure of Allah. And most of all realize that you cannot do it without Allah’s help. So pray regularly and ask Allah to give you the sweetness of His love. Spend some time daily in learning about the Prophet (s.a.w) There is a very good book titled “Muhammd” by Martin Lings. Or if you can read urdu then there is a book called “Tajalliyaat-e-Nubuwwat” by Maulan Safi-ur-Rahman Mubarakpuri.
    Also think of what you would do if you want someone to Love you? You will find out what they love and then you will do it.
    Therefore Follow the Prophet’s teachings and Allah will put His love in your heart. Be patient and consistent. It takes time but step by step one day you will find your dreams. InshaAllah
    One last advice is that always remember that all negative thoughts or depressing ideas are from the shaitan so do not believe him at all. He doesn’t want us to love Allah so he tries to make us think that we are so bad that Allah will never like us. Obviously it is a lie so don’t fall in this trap.
    May Allah help us all… Ameen

    • Dear Sister Shaheen..!!!
      Jazakallah 4 ur Reply…it really made me happy n satisfied…im going 2 be married after Ramadan Inshallah..but im very confused about it…i wanna ask sumthing 4m u but i cant text it here openly…kindly let me know how can i contact u?wot z ur e-mail adrees?u can see my e-mail u can also mail me..waiting 4 ur reply…FE AMAN ALLAH….

  3. Asalam-a-laikum sister,
    posting here after around 4 months, I suppose. You are right, we need to develop love for our Prophet (pbuh) in order to obtain Allah’s love. And that is not always easy. Thank you for your advice.

    Jazak Allah
    May Allah help us all, Ameen

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