don’t say what you don’t do

These days my focus is a lot on the contrast between my speech and my deeds. Also the contrast between my idealistic approach to life and my own attitude to the most simplest and tiniest of irritations of life…since I have read in Surah As-Saff:

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لِمَ تَقُولُونَ مَا لَا تَفْعَلُونَ ﴿٢﴾

(2) O you who believe! Why you say that which you do not?

 

I am always holding a torch and looking into every part of my heart, trying to catch the culprit who makes me fall into such stupid mistakes…consequently I found that my real enemy is not inside but out and He is the devil. And so I was very happy that it’s no problem to keep him out of my life…I will just be so focused in my zikr that I will build a fortress around my heart…but after a few days of this activity I found that there was only very little improvement in my behaviour so I thought now what’s wrong….gradually and slowly I began to see that on one side I was building my fortress but on the other hand there was a traitor who was destroying whatever I build…and that is my nafs and its foolish desires and negative thoughts. Through these weak spots the shaitan can easily break through…so now basically I have discovered that I have two enemies…One is shaitan waiting on the outside to find a weak spot and then pounces on it…and the other enemy is inside me who creates these openings for shaitan through its foolishness. This is basically the same thing which we keep reading in books but cannot really understand it until we actually go through the experience itself. But what is the solution? I have found that the best thing is to do is to make a list of all the weaknesses of character and one by one try and get rid of those habits, while on the other hand Allah’s zikr and duas should be an all time priority. The first thing which I have decided to take care of is my talkativeness…I talk too much and thus give an easy way for shaitan to make me say things which I later regret. Therefore I will make an extra effort to be careful of what I say and in what tone. Especially I aim to not give voice to any negative feelings because I have realized that words of shukr and positive attitude have a healing effect on my heart and vice versa…not only our own self but the whole environment gets affected by the kind of sound waves which we produce.

May Allah help me act on what I learn and keep me on the right track always…mistakes are human weakness but they should not become a routine or a habit…

 

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