Last year we applied for UK visa to meet my husband and to make an educational trip for children’s summer vacation. But it was refused…and along with the pain of disappointment, there came many thoughts which I wrote down as a reminder….
As I was coming to terms with this “little” disappointment, trying to console my heart who was crying out “why” ………I remembered all the duas and my claims of having complete surrender to Allah’s choice and Allah’s will…….It just took a couple of minutes for the fire to cool down and peace to descend…..Allah’s mercy ……..I surrender and He is right there to hold my heart, protect it from the “attacks” of the shaitan who is also waiting nearby for me to fall into his traps……..It is a fleeting moment of decision……….that one microscopic part of a second…….when you hear a bad news and the heart pauses at the crossroads between two opposite reactions………it is that decision for which we are going to be accountable for……..to decide which road to follow………one is of complaints and self pity and despair and regret and anger……..the moment you give in to your nafs and decide to take a step in that direction you give your steering wheel to shaitan who takes over the driving seat and leads you straight to loss of faith and loss of direction and deep depression and misery.
But you don’t HAVE to follow this road, ………there is also that other path open to you at the beginning ……..when you can decide to give your pain over to Allah, to look at Him with trust and hope and let His love pour over you. That is a path which seems difficult but only until you surrender to it………after that you hand over your heart to Allah and He holds it for you, puts peace in it and a special kind of love develops for Allah which makes every other thing seem trivial in comparison.
Besides this lesson of practical implementation of patience and its benefits………I also learned another very important lesson……. that
If not being able to meet with someone you love, can be so painful,
Then how can we not care whether we will be allowed to meet Allah or not?
And if one refusal of entry to one small little country can hurt so much
Then how much will be the pain of refusal to Jannat
How can we ignore the possibility of such a refusal?
How can we be content in what little we do?
How can we blatantly keep on hurting people and think we are doing some supreme service to Islam and Humanity
How can we keep thinking evil thoughts and not worry about the corruption of our hearts
Don’t we know the ayat of the Quran in which Allah says that no one will get the Visa for Jannat except those with a Qalb-e-Saleem?
Is my heart ………a Qalb-e-saleem?
Is it free from self pity? Jealousy? Possessiveness? Selfishness? Pride and arrogance? Happiness in other’s misery? Self worship? Ignorance? Self deception?
How many times in a day do I pray for my heart?
How much do I worry about my heart’s corruption?
If I spend hours worrying about other people’s faults then surely I don’t have any time for my own heart, do I?
That is why the beautiful Hadith comes to my mind the gist of which is that give good news to a person who is so engrossed with his own shortcomings that he does not have time to think about other people’s faults.
I do hope and pray that Allah accepts our sincere efforts to cleanse our hearts and does not refuse our Visa for Jannat.
We did get the visa on the second try
But there are no second chances in the hereafter…
So the time to turn to Allah and try for Jannat is now
Please don’t waste it…