Recently there was a small incident which is so common in our setup but for me it turned out to be a source of great inspiration. That is why I want to share it with you. The biggest realization was that Allah is so Merciful that He gives us so many opportunities of learning every day.
Well what happened was that my servant refused to do a certain task and that too in a very rude manner. I am basically very touchy about behaviours and so I was naturally very “HURT”. I didn’t speak out to him but inwardly I was fuming with anger and frustration. Stereotype sentences began to go round and round in my thoughts such as “I have been so kind to him” and “how could he do this” and “he has no right to be disobedient” and so on . As you can see these are the typical things that I have heard and LEARNT without thinking. And it is a common way of thinking in our society. We react according to these thoughts.
But I had recently got a mail from a friend in which she had advised me to try and get rid of my faults one by one in order to attain inner peace. Boiling with rage and losing my temper is included in the long list of my FAULTS. I went to my room and tried to cool off. I was trying to change the direction of my thoughts with a conscious effort and SUDDENLY I realized something so obvious which we all fail to see because of our tall egos. And that is our lack of obedience towards ALLAH. I was deeply shaken to realize that inspite of all our CLAIMS of Iman and Taqwa, we have never attached so much significance to our obedience to Allah. How many times do we allow ourselves concessions from various duties without ever stopping to think “WHO HAS GIVEN US THE RIGHT TO DO SO?” And yet when someone disobeys us we think that it is the end of the world! Whether its our children or servants (or even our husbands!!)
I often think of myself as a very fair and just person but it was a shock to realize that I could be so unfair in my standard of obedience. The good thing that came out of this is a new sense of awareness that instead of getting upset about peoples’ behaviour towards me I have to focus on my own attitude towards Allah. What have I given to my children or to my servant as compared to what Allah has given me? If I expect these people to be worthy of my kindness, should I not be worrying more about making myself worthy of Allah’s kindness?
I often used to pray to Allah to “make me strong so I should not be affected by peoples attitudes” but I have now realized that this strength can only be achieved if you focus your attention towards your level of obedience and gratitude towards Allah.
Please pray for me that this ‘Lesson Learnt’ should go a long way in making me a better person towards Allah and (as a consequence) to other people as well.