Fear of pain

I have just come back from my visit to the dentist. For a long time I had suspected some decay in one of my molars and wanted to get it repaired but due to my phobia of pain, I kept delaying it, making all sorts of excuses….Anyway I could not put it off anymore so literally dragged myself to get it done this morning. The dentist confirmed my suspicion that the decay had enlarged due to lack of treatment and so I will need to have a filling done. Now I have a deep fear of all the machines and pipes and their screaming awful sound makes me feel like they are going to drill a hole right through my jaw!! Just the thought that a mere mm left or right can mean unimaginable pain, is enough to drive me crazy….Oh I am so terrified of pain…all the while I gripped my hands together and I thought I might crush my finger bones to pieces!! While the doctor was busy with the machine and the nurse was also bending over me with the suction pipe…..I thought of the grave and how I would be lying in it straight… like I was reclining( almost flat) on the dentist’s chair..And the two angels will be like these two people bending over me….what will that terror be? Here it is light and there it will be dark…what will I do? Is there anyone who can save me from pain except Allah….whether on the dentist’s chair or in the grave and in the hereafter? When Allah warns me in the Quran of the painful torment…Azkaban Alee…have I ever associated it with my fear of pain? No I had never thought of it that this fear of pain is actually a blessing from Allah that I can associate with the painful torment of the grave and the hereafter and how to save myself from it…..Normally we criticize fear…because we think it hinders a person’s development and success. But after today’s experience I have understood that whatever fear we have, whether it is a phobia of insects or lizards or pain or accidents….it should be channelized for the Akhirah…On one hand it will reduce our fear in this world and we will be more comfortable in moving about in our lives, and secondly we will be doing our utmost struggle to save ourselves in the hereafter. May Allah help me to act on what I learn.

 

 

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