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It is a well known fact that human beings have been created as imperfect beings and they will always make mistakes and we also get a lot of comfort in the fact that Allah is most forgiving and so if we make any mistake then all we have to do is to feel the guilt and beg for his forgiveness. Make matters right with the person against whom we committed the sin and give some sadaqah to cleanse the soul. But if the Taubah was so sincere why do we keep falling into the same trap again and again. Since we know that the devil uses our weaknesses to lead us towards sins so that means that if we keep returning to the same error then the weakness which enables the shaitan to do his job is very much present in us. So we must analyse ourselves and find out that weakness in order to get rid of it… this is what Tazkiyah or character development is all about.
One common mistake which most of us are guilty of is to lose temper with people and talk to them in a manner which we would never like for our own self. Why do we do it? Even though some of us feel terribly guilty after talking like that but very soon find ourselves repeating the error somehow or the other… why is that?
Some might say that its in our nature and we really don’t think badly about others… but its just in talking to them in anger that we forget all the good articles we have read and the lectures we listen to…
If this excuse is true then why is it that we control our anger and our tone in front of people whom we are afraid of… when we fear that they will insult us if we say anything to them…
Or imagine yourself in front of a person whom you love and admire greatly and want to maintain an excellent relationship… how is it that we get the wisdom and the patience to control our temper and tongue in such situations?
It means that the real thing which leads to good behaviour is love and fear. Now since we do not and cannot love and fear all the people on the same level then our behaviour also keeps fluctuating. But if we can just remember one thing that all the people are the creation of Allah… that even if they cannot take revenge from us due to their specific nature or situation, Allah is watching over them and His revenge is greater than anything we can ever imagine… if we can remain conscious of this we can never degrade others… we can never be rough to others… we can never hurt others… no matter what they do to us, because we will know that their mistakes cannot neutralize our sins.
One way to do this is to keep repeating this in our talks that Allah has created this person and he knows what he or she is doing and he is enough to do justice. This thought will make us free from the urge to talk back… or to punish… or to make them realize how bad they are!!
The other thing is to cultivate a forgiving attitude. Stop the habit of thinking and talking negatively about people. If they appear as incompetent or foolish or deceptive or whatever… then maybe it is a trial for me through which Allah is testing my Taqwa? He is testing me whether I make the same concessions for them which I want for my own weaknesses?
Because today once again I realized that our Taqwa is best revealed in our attitude towards people who are weak and helpless…
Its interesting to note that we are sometimes very polite with poor and needy people and we think we have achieved Taqwa… but the real taqwa is when we can “maintain” that politeness with our servants… our children… with whom we live and are tested with their irritations or negative reactions.
No matter how much they spoil things or spoil our mood but we just don’t have the right to INSULT them or anyone else. We take it lightly because it has become such a common thing but still in Allah’s eyes it is a great sin. The honour of a person is as sacred as his life and his property. We think Zulm as killing or robbing people… but it is an equal zulm to kill the spirit of a person with our negative criticism and angry words.
BismillahirRahman Ar-Rahim…
Certainly truth leads to righteousness and righteousness leads to Paradise…
These are the beautiful words of our Prophet (s.a.w) recorded in the Book of Hadith called Sahih Baukhari. One of the magnificent qualities given to our Prophet (s.a.w) was that he was able to convey profound wisdom in very few words. Apparently these few words seem to be common knowledge and but when you go deep down and analyse it, you will understand that the application of these words is far from being common…
I am one of those people who have found the way of Islam very attractive and want to follow the example of the pious people and do great things for the sake of Allah but despite all the claims and dreams of leading a purposeful, action-oriented, productive life… I have always had this most disturbing realization in my heart that I am not doing what I had thought I would do for my Allah… But then I would try to console myself that of course Allah knows my situation and all the obstacles of my way so He will forgive me…
But this worry never quite left me… and when I attended a course this summer, which was about the life of our Prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu alaihi wa alihi wassallam) I was so ashamed to realize that our Prophet(s.a.w) and His companions had faced years of unimaginable pains and troubles… yet those “problems” had not deterred them from their path at all. There was nothing that could distract them from the true path of success.
So what is wrong with me then? Why couldn’t I be as strong and steadfast? Don’t I believe in the same Allah? Don’t I have the same Quran? Am I not heading towards the same Akhirah? So what am I collecting for that real life that is supposed to be my goal?
And this Hadith of the Prophet (s.a.w) has finally lifted the veil from my heart and has made the truth so clear and visible… that if my faith was true then it would definitely lead me towards consistent goodness. Our beloved Prophet (s.a.w) and His companions were steadfast because their faith was free from doubts. They were convinced in the outcome of the hereafter and so their focus was firmly established on attaining success in that final day of Judgement. That is why they were not at all worried about the judgement of people or their opinions.
And we are totally absorbed by this world and so its success and failure means everything for us. That is why we are ready to give up the path of Akhirah if we face even the tiniest bit of loss or trouble of this world. We have taken up the flag of religion but keep our commitments only when it is convenient. Our behaviour with people is also on the worldly basis. How we behave towards the rich and how we look down on the poor? How we pretend to be so courteous with important people and how that courtesy vanishes into the air when we are talking to our servants or children? If our goodness was truly for the sake of pleasing Allah then it would not be so contradictory…
And so this lack of truth… absence of true conviction… is the disease which is destroying us and does not let our faith grow into the firm and tall tree which was supposed to give shade and fruit to the whole world. And so we must think on it and find out the solutions to heal our hearts… before it is too late.
The following actions can help us get back on the right track…
1- Pray to Allah deeply and sincerely to get rid of the deceptions of hypocrisy… and pray that He might make us true in faith.
2- Practise speaking only what you really think. Get rid of all pretentions and exaggerations.
3- Look good to Allah… stop worrying about people’s opinions…
4- Make Akhirah your true goal and remind yourself several times a day that desires are for paradise.
5- Be true in your prayers by saying each and every word from your heart… not just with your tongue. If you are saying “Allah show me the right way” then let your heart feel the need for the right way… how can you ask someone for something while you are not even aware what you are asking for?
6- Follow the Sunnah of the Prophet (s.a.w) and pray to Allah that he might give you the true love of His Messenger.
7- Arrogance is also based on a false perception that you are better than others… Be Humble…
8- A truthful believer is never interested in false things… so stop taking interest in things which are not true.
9- Develop a firm faith in the promises of Allah by reading the Quran with understanding and contemplation.
10- Always think positively about others… don’t make presumptions because you can never know what they are going through. So stop making false ideas and spreading false opinions.
As we bring our hearts towards the truth and fill it with positive thinking then inshaAllah we will have the power of conviction which will lead us towards a life of consistent obedience to Allah and excellent behaviour with all his creation. May Allah help us to be true to Him and true to ourselves… ameen.
The following story was shared by Zohra Sarwari in her newsletter. I found it so very motivating that wished to spread it to as many people as possible. I hope and pray that it will cure us of this terrible disease of insulting others…
A woman one day said something that hurt (insult) her best friend. She regretted it immediately, and would have done anything to have taken the words back. But they were said, impulsively, in a moment of thoughtlessness, and as close as she and her friend were, she didn’t consider the effects of her words beforehand.
In her effort to undo what she had done, she went to an older, wiser woman in the village. Explaining her situation, and asked for advice. The older woman listened patiently in an effort to determine just how sincere the younger woman was, how far she was willing to go to correct the situation.
The wise women said, “There are two things needed to do to make amends. The first of the two is extremely difficult. Tonight, take your best feather pillows, and open a small hole in each one. Then, before the sun rises, you must put a single feather on the doorstep of each house in town. When you are through, come back to me. If you’ve done the first thing completely, I’ll tell you the second.”
The young woman hurried home to prepare for her chore. All night long she labored alone in the cold. She went from doorstep to doorstep, taking care not to overlook a single house. Her fingers were frozen, the wind was so sharp it caused her eyes to water, but she ran on, through the darkened streets, thankful there was something she could do to put things back the way they once were.
Just as the sun rose, she returned to the older woman. She was exhausted, but relieved that her efforts would be rewarded. “My pillows are empty. I placed a feather on the doorstep of each home.”
Now, said the wise woman, “Go back and refill your pillows. Then everything will be as it was before.”
The young woman was stunned. “You know that’s impossible! The wind blew away each feather as fast as I placed them on the doorsteps! You didn’t say I had to get them back! If this is the second requirement, then things will never be the same.”
“That’s true”, said the older woman. “Never forget. Each of your words is like a feather in the wind. Once spoken, no amount of effort, regardless how heartfelt or sincere, can ever return them to your mouth. Choose your words well, and guard them most of all in the presence of those you love, because remember one kind word can warm three winter months.”
